November 17, 2023-January 17, 2024

In general, a healthy and functional ego is of critical importance in life, but also even more so on the spiritual Path. That having been said, much of what follows are the more painful ways that the ego shows up, since they are often easier to see, and because they are less comfortable, we will naturally feel more of an impulse to do something to rectify the situation, i.e. start, or continue with, our spiritual process.

The more healthy, potentially positive and functional ego shows up as any attempt to improve our self, our job, our situation, our relationships. That drive is critically important though it will never lead us to the permanent peace and satisfaction that everyone on the planet craves.

Do you want to be a good person? The part in there that wants to think of itself as a good person is the ego, and the part in there that sabotages you being a good person is also the ego. Anything you do against your own good, that’s the ego.

The part in here that endlessly and relentlessly doubts, everything but never itself—that’s the ego. It’s the one in here who continually says, “…but….”, the one in here that has complete faith in its own doubt and gets annoyed at other people’s doubts in itself.

The part in here that does anything it can to avoid the present moment—that’s the ego. It’ll do whatever it takes to not be present—to avoid having awareness dwelling in the present—which is the ego’s death. It is at constant war with the present moment (as mentioned in The Pope’s Exorcist blog. Yeah, distraction!)

The part in here that feels the undying and panicking need to have endless drama, problems and arguments with everything in life—even finding, making, or having these problems or arguments with other people’s lives!—that’s the ego.

The ego is also the part in here that is addicted to the fantasy of being in control—of itself, of others, of life, of the future, of its destiny. Some even take this as far of being compulsively—even if inaccurately—in control of their past (think: rewriting their history)! You know who I mean, but still, since “they” are doing it, we may want to look for how we are doing it as well.

Do you want to be enlightened, or have inner peace, or experience unconditional love? The part in there that we can be aware of that wants to experience those states of consciousness, that’s the ego. The “problem”—really just a paradox—is that the reason we are not enlightened, not at peace and not experiencing unconditional love is that we have an ego; it’s the ego essentially preventing all those experiences.

The part in here that feels superior—to someone, anyone—is the ego. Any part in here that feels less than—or that it is not enough—is also the ego. Superior/inferior are two sides of the exact same coin and function in identical ways for the ego’s purposes.

The ego also very much likes to feel itself as a victim—of anything, it doesn’t matter—since that experience allows a person to feel inferior and superior at the same time! It’s such an enticing internal stance that even rich, white men in the U.S. like to feel themselves as victims!

Any sense of cramped-ness or uncomfortable smallness—unless it is complete non-existence and Void—is also the ego. If what’s happening inside is at all tense, compact, small or limited, what you are feeling is a physically perceptible level of the ego.

The part that is absolutely certain that it is 100 percent correct and accurate in its assessment of itself, other people, and any life situation is a very dangerous manifestation of the ego.

Even more so, the ego is the part in here that feels certain about anything! Nothing at all is certain in reality. Not one thing. As Amma, my teacher repeatedly says, “Even the next breath is not under our control.” If you have a dog, a job, a relationship, kids, a computer or other device, a car, a body or a mind, you should be very clear on this fact by now. Ego tries to establish certainty where none exists, even when faced with the knowledge that to do so means it will suffer more. At the same time, it actively avoids seeing the certainty where it really does exist—in the moment, in change, even in the Love dwelling in our own hearts.

Any pain or difficulty encountered on hearing critical feedback, as well as any boost in mood when receiving positive feedback, both reveal the ego.

If you notice the tendency to identify with the temporary, that’s the ego. Identifying with such (temporary) things as one’s body—including skin color, gender, sexual orientation, size or lack of size—family or other relationships, animals, money, car, job, education, religion, etc. allows the ego to give itself the (incorrect) feeling that it exists and is real and solid. All these temporary things are short-term constructs that the ego uses to prop up its self-made illusion. So then, if you notice any suffering that accompanies this identification with the temporary or with the loss or change of any of those things, good awareness! That’ll be helpful in developing a more accurate picture of Life.

Related to all that, if you feel anything as “mine,” that feeling of ownership is ego. If you say, “I am ______________,” whatever fills in that blank is a manifestation of or reveals the ego. If you can feel the gripping that accompanies the “me” and “mine,” that’s one small step toward being free of it.

If you see someone or something (or yourself) which has a thousand positive and noble qualities but you instead notice only the one shortcoming in that thing, that is the ego. It’s the part constantly seeking for “imperfections”—in itself, in others, in the world, in Life.

If you feel self-conscious in your doing of anything, that’s the ego too.

Ego is the part in here that is at war with peace, with relaxation, with ease, etc. If a person is averse to comfort, the ego wants it so. Conversely if a person feels a deep need to have ONLY comfort, this also comes from ego.

The part in here that avoids any pain that’s present—whether subtle or otherwise—is ego. The part in here that can acknowledge pain and go through it consciously is the part that on the Path we are trying to connect with more deeply; it’s the part that will liberate us.

The part in here whose feeling of itself is colored by what other people say about it or its actions is ego. Likewise, that same part also thinks and worries about what other people will think about it before it acts. (The Higher Self just does what is right because it’s the right thing to do, regardless of how other people may perceive it.)

The one in here who makes up problems to be solved—even where no problem exists—and then figures out ways to solve them is the ego.

The part in here that feels compelled to know—ALREADY!—anything and everything that it feels that it should know is ego. It will remain mostly impervious to new information. Some egos, though, have the opposite tendency: to pretend or to be committed to not knowing what they do or should know.

Paradoxically, the ego is also the part in here that actively desires to remain ignorant, to not know any number of things as well as what is ultimately true. This is so since the ego needs to maintain the fantasy world of its own making. It uses its intense desire to feel superior in order to soothe itself while maintaining and masking its true underlying desire to remain ignorant. (If you think that’s only true of others and does not exist in you, you are either most likely a “Conservative” but also quite possibly a “Progressive” or one of the other third that is averse to making a choice. The more defensive you are about that statement, the stronger is the ego. If you can see that desire to remain ignorant and superior in others and in yourself, you are—thankfully, and probably finally—a human being.)

Please note that even the desire for worldly knowledge—knowledge of only the outer world—can be an easy, effective, occasionally useful, and—for some—less painful cover-up of the core inner urge to remain ignorant of any deeper, internal Truth of Life while seeming to care about and to desire knowledge at the same time.

The part in here that is obsessed and fixated on “what is not” is ego. (It must be since it itself also is a “what is not.” “What is” is the ego’s “death.” Thus, the ego avoids “what is,” just as the life in the body naturally and strongly avoids death until death is the next natural part of Life.)

Ultimately the ego is a “non-thing;” it’s something that we speak of and act as if it exists—and we have to—when really it doesn’t. In one sense, it’s a series of agreements or thoughts—mostly stable but still ever-changing—that our mind has agreed to operate under to give some apparent stability to both outer and inner worlds in constant flux. When viewed at close range, the disparate and repetitive thoughts that we continually, unconsciously and unquestioningly operate under are as far apart from—and as connected to—each other as the dust motes floating in the room are to each other. The thoughts have been connected only in our minds; they have no ultimate reality.

So, in the end, if we fight with the ego in any way, ironically and paradoxically we are strengthening and giving more life to this non-thing. We just need to look closely, honestly and lovingly for long enough. Eventually we will see the Truth.